There’s a well-known quote by Viktor Frankl, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” It’s a profound truth - and one that speaks directly to the heart of mindfulness and personal mastery.

We’ve all experienced that flash of heat when someone triggers us. It could be a family member whose words cut sharper than intended or a colleague whose tone grates on our nerves. That moment of trigger - the stimulus, can feel like a trap, drawing us into old, reactive patterns before we’ve even realized what’s happening. This is the human experience, and it’s also our opportunity.

The Hook That Pulls Us In

Pema Chödrön describes this moment as “biting the hook.” It’s the split second when we take the bait. When we let the emotional charge carry us into autopilot reactions. Whether it’s lashing out, withdrawing, indulging in unhealthy habits, or numbing our emotions, the pattern is familiar, and often deeply entrenched.

Like the author of the story shared, many of us develop habitual responses to triggers—sometimes born in childhood, shaped by early attachment patterns, or reinforced by life’s stressors. These reactions aren't chosen; they happen. But that doesn’t mean they are inevitable.

Mindfulness as the Disruptor of Old Habits

Our Power lies in noticing or becoming aware of the hook, before we bite. Mindfulness offers us a way out—a disruption to the pattern. It helps us create the space between the trigger and the reaction. A breath. A moment of stillness. A hand placed on the heart. In that pause, a new choice becomes possible.

The essence of this write up is to simply point out that Mindfulness is a pause—the space between stimulus and response. That’s where choice lies. This is not just a mental concept. It’s a visceral experience.

If we can slow down for just a split second, and breath – our racing thoughts being to settle. We’re then far more capable of responding rather than reacting.

Why This Matters for Leaders (and Humans)

At Integrate Concepts, we often coach leaders on mastering their internal landscape, developing the emotional intelligence, presence, and resilience to lead with clarity and purpose even in high-pressure environments.

One of the core principles I’ve shared with clients is this: “You can’t lead others well if you’re not managing yourself well”. And nothing tests that like a well-placed trigger.

This is where the discipline of mindfulness intersects with the real world of leadership. It’s not about detaching from your emotions, it’s about creating the capacity to notice, name, and navigate them. That’s how we stop the cycle. That’s how we choose differently.

Practical Ways to Build the Pause

• Name what’s happening. “I’m feeling triggered. My breath is shallow. My fists are clenched.” Naming disarms the trigger.

• Take three deep breaths. This simple practice can reset your nervous system.

• Use physical anchors. A hand on your heart. Grounding your feet. Looking around the room.

• Reflect before reacting. Ask: “What’s the story I’m telling myself?” or “What would be the most constructive choice right now?”

Freedom, One Pause at a Time

When we build this pause into our daily lives - especially in our hardest moments, we reclaim power over our habits and emotional patterns. Over time, the space between stimulus and response expands. Our choices multiply, Our relationships shift and Our leadership voice transforms.

Aspiring Leaders - This is the deeper work. And it’s worth every breath.

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